That Time of The Month
by NekoKittyAssassin8
Summary: Its that time of the month for Lilly, causing chaos in the office of Miles Edgeworth. Will he survive? Maybe with a little help. EdgeworthXOC


Yes, its me again. :P I wrote another oneshot about my OC Lilly and Miles Edgeworth from the Phoenix Wright series. This one was mainly intended for humorous reasons, so no flames for the possible OOC ness of the characters please. :3 So, yeah. I kinda uploaded it after I got my first real review from (drumroll please): Jade the Grey! Thanks so much, this is dedicated to you, my first real reviewer! Thanks again. Enjoy! ^^ By the way, I do not own any of the Phoenix Wright stuff. I only 'own' I guess, Lilly.

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He knew something was wrong the minute she walked in the door, slammed it shut, and just went and sat on the couch. And just sat there. Not bubbly 'good morning' or meaningless chatter about something like shoes or a new outfit she found at the mall. Just sat there, not a peep came from her mouth. Oh yes, something was wrong, he just didn't know what. After a few minutes of just sitting there, he decided to take action, that is, order her to get him something.

He began by clearing his throat, "Lilly?"

She looked up a him behind half lidded eyes, there were dark circles under them, "What?" she snapped.

"Get me some coffee." then after a slight pause, he added 'please' as a good measure.

"Get it yourself!" she snapped, then laid on her stomach on the couch, taking up the whole thing.

Edgeworth could only stare for a second, never had he really had Lilly snap at him. So he got up and went to go get it. Happy to be escape the danger zone of that which was Lilly.

"Get me one too while you're at it." she said.

He grunted in replay, walking up to the coffee machine, thinking about why she would be this way after getting a weekend off as he watched the black liquid fill one of the foam cups. Then he remembered, it was Monday. He wondered if this was the problem. After all, many people didn't like Mondays because it was the start of a new week, and that meant getting up and going to work early again for another five days until it was the weekend again.

But Edgeworth thought that Lilly loved her job, she always told him that. She enjoyed putting the 'bad peoples' into jail. Yet why was she so cranky? After the second cup was filled, he walked back to the office, on the way deciding to blame it on a possible bad morning. The moment he walked into the door, he was aware that the room was dark and the TV was on. She was sitting there with a box of tissues watching sad Soap Operas.

He turned on the light, just to turn it back off after a threatening look from Lilly. She was misty eyed and there were red lines running down her face. Apparently she had been crying, he walked over and set her coffee on the table, giving her some of the sugar packs he grabbed while filling the coffee. She grabbed it from him and used all the sugar, drinking it down quickly, even though it was pretty hot.

"Took you long enough." she snarled, giving him a glare before turning back to the TV.

Something about the 'new' Lilly actually made him want to go hide under his desk. But instead, he walked over and turned on a lamp so he could do his paperwork, since he didn't want to risk turning on the ceiling lights, possibly earning a beheading from Lilly.

"Turn off the damn light!" Lilly hissed.

He quickly obeyed.

"Do we have any chocolate?" Lilly asked.

"No." Edgeworth replied grumpily, wondering how in the hell he was supposed to do his paperwork now.

"Well go get some!" she yelled out her command.

"A-alright!" he stuttered, restraining himself from running out of the room.

He quickly walked to the grocery store, wondering if he should just go home and not go back to the office until the next day. But then he remembered that he had left his paperwork back at the office, paperwork that he needed to have completed by the next day. So, instead of walking around being, as Lilly herself would say it, 'emo', he simply went to complete the task so that maybe, just maybe, Lilly would spare his life.

When he arrived at the store, he ran into none other then Phoenix Wright and Maya Fey.

"Hey Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya greeted, waving and dragging Phoenix over.

"Mr. Wright, Ms. Fey." he said.

"What's the matter with you?" Phoenix asked.

"What's the matter with me?" Edgeworth asked nonchalantly.

"You seem kind of … pale. And where's Lilly, doesn't she usually come with you on shopping trips?" Maya said, cocking her head to the right, then to the left.

"She's kind of … in a bad mood." Edgeworth explained, looking at the floor.

"Lilly? In a bad mood?" Phoenix seemed just as astounded as Edgeworth was when he found out.

"Yes." he said dumbly.

"Still, why didn't she come with you?" Maya asked, then mumbled, "You'd think a little shopping would cheer her up."

"Actually, she commanded me to fetch her chocolate from the store since we didn't have any." he answered, since Maya probably wasn't going to leave him alone until he gave her an answer.

"So you're-" Maya began.

"-Lilly's man-bitch." Phoenix finished, then, along with Maya, burst into laughter.

"Man … bitch?" Edgeworth replied.

Maya kept on laughing, then stopped, "Alright, so she wanted chocolate, and she's grumpy, any other symptoms?" she asked.

"Well she's … watching really bad soap operas in the dark laid out on the couch." he described.

"Ah … I think I know what's wrong."

Edgeworth mentally slapped himself, which was something he rarely did. Here he had spent half an hour in hell which could've easily been avoided just by asking another girl.

"I think its Lilly's time of the month." Maya stated.

"What?" Edgeworth asked, Lilly's birthday wasn't for another two months.

"She's PMSing." Phoenix muttered, rolling his eyes."

"Oh." Again, he slapped himself.

_Of course, it was so obvious!_

"So what do I do?" Edgeworth asked.

"Well, for one, get her that chocolate."

"Alright. What kind?"

"I don't know, get her … milk chocolate, that's her favorite."

"Done." he said, throwing in some chocolate bars, first making sure they were milk chocolate.

"And, get her some pads." Maya said, wandering off towards the 'feminine needs' isle.

"WHAT?!" both Edgeworth and Phoenix exclaimed, neither of them following her.

She sighed, "Fine. I'll get her some."

After a while, Maya came back and threw a pack of pads into the basket. Then thought for a moment.

"Okay, we can check out now." she said, walking to a check out lane.

"I vote we use a self-checkout." Phoenix said.

Edgeworth shot Phoenix a grateful look, another thing he didn't do too often, "I second that." he said, walking up to the self check. Maya shrugged and followed after.

After paying, he went through the door, Phoenix and Maya trailing along behind him. He had almost left the store without loosing all his pride, but then ….

_**BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.**_

The alarm went off and the greeter came over to look through the bag. A woman looked through, and said, "Awww! For your wife?"

"Uh … no …"

"Well, you can go on ahead. Have a nice day!" she said, finally letting him get out of this god forsaken hell hole called a store.

"Wait a sec Edgeworth!"

He turned to see Maya running towards him, Phoenix following behind like a puppy as usual, "Here, give these to Lilly. It might help with the cramps and … never mind, Lily will know what to do with them." Maya said, giving him a bottle of pills after digging in her purse for a while.

He looked a the small bottle that said, 'Midol' on the front.

"See you later Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya and Phoenix said.

"Good luck!" Phoenix added.

"Later." he murmured, walking back to his office.

He opened the door and was nearly tackled by Lilly.

"Did you bring chocolate?" she growling, looking like a rabid badger or something.

"Here." he said, giving her the chocolate, which she gratefully accepted, and showed her gratitude by leaving him alone, which was one of the most wonderful things she could've done.

"I'll be right back." he said, walking out of his office to get Lilly a glass of water.

He came back in, "Lilly?"

"What?" came her sharp reply.

She was once again laying on the couch, glaring at him from under a blanket.

"Here, you should take these, they might … help." he suggested, handing her the bottle of pills and the water.

She looked at them in her hand, but swallowed them down, much to Edgeworth's relief, "Why do you think I need Midol?" she growled.

"Um … the cramps … bloating-"

"ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?!" she exclaimed, sitting up from beneath the covers and glaring at him even more intensely, if possible, then before.

Just when he had dug his way out of a hole, he was pushed right back in, "N-no! Not what I meant."

"Good." she retorted childishly, laying back down.

After about five hours of soap opera and another dose of Midol added with about ten bars of chocolate, Lilly seemed pretty content and fell asleep on the couch. Edgeworth decided not to risk his head and get up to turn off the TV. Instead, he just sat at his desk with a small reading light to help him see his paperwork. All was then quiet as Lilly slept time five, when it was time to go home.

Edgeworth had been able to not disturb Lilly so she would wake up and throw a fit at him. He had to take a few calls, but thankfully, his cell phone was set on vibrate, making the calls nearly silent. Quietly, and hoping his life was not about to end, he slowly got up to wake Lilly, only to realize that she had already awoken, and was getting off the couch. He then quickly and somehow noiselessly sat down, contemplating playing dead or something along the lines.

Instead, he choose to suddenly look up when Lilly suddenly appeared in front of his desk. He looked up. Just as Lilly bent down grabbing his cravat, and pulling him towards her and giving him a passionate and hungry kiss. His mind turned from fearful, to pure mush and he had just about gotten it together and was about to kiss back when she pulled away. He was frozen to the spot, thanking heavens that the lights were off so she couldn't see the current color of his face.

"Thanks for the chocolate." she said, "Later." then promptly exited the office, closing the door quietly behind her.

Edgeworth just stared after her, waiting a few minutes before getting up and leaving himself. Instead of driving home, he stopped at the grocery store again and picked up about twenty chocolate bars and another bottle of Midol. He then went home after paying and getting through the door without the alarm going off again.

- - - - -

The next day Edgeworth walked into his office a few minutes earlier then usual, survival kit consisting of chocolate and Midol in hand. Maybe it could be better called Lilly's survival kit, but he decided it should be his as well since it would enable him to survive the curse called 'PMS'. He sat down and rested his head on the back of his hands and stared at the clock. Lilly usually walked in at around 8:01. A minute late for work, but hey, who's counting.

A few minutes later, as usual, 8:01, the door knob slowly started to turn. Edgeworth stared fearfully at the door as it was thrust open by none other then Lilly.

"Good morning Miley!" Lilly greeted in her usual sing-song voice.

Edgeworth breathed a sigh of relief, the old Lilly was back, "Morning."

She took her usual seat on her chair, then smiled at him, "So what's on the agenda today?" she asked.

He smirked, same old same old, "Get me some coffee."

Silence, he looked at her, her bangs covered her face, a cloud of darkness was behind her, "I'll get it myself." he said hurriedly.

She brightened instantly, "Okay."

"I'll grab you one too, have some chocolate." he said, going quickly to the door.

"Thanks!" she sang happily as she reached for the chocolate.

She dug around in the bag for a few minutes after he left, finding a little bottle of pills, "Midol?" Then she gasped, hoping that what they said wasn't true.

Everyone knows the saying, 'Payback's a bitch.' Hopefully it wouldn't come in the form of a 'man bitch' this time.

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Well, that's it. Hope you all enjoyed it! Hope my bad sense of humor was tolerable as well. :3 R & R! Thanks again!


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